Welcome to Mr Q's domain

Destroying Ourselves

2011-12-16T14:25:00.003-05:00

We destroy ourselves...
When our actions lack purpose.
When our motives are not clear.
When we live in denial.
When we can't appreciate what we have.
When we live to please others.
When we live to hate others.
When we look for help from those who can't help themselves.
When we fail to listen.
When we fail to forgive.
When we mistake freedom with liberty.
When we don't appreciate others.
When we deny ourselves the truth.
When we deceive.When we don't forgive.
When we take from others what is not ours to take.
When we drift away from God.
When we let pain dictate our actions.
When we let our actions become irreparable mistakes.
When we let mistakes become the rest of our lives.

Of course, destroying ourselves is not evident to us,until we have destroyed those around us.
So why do we destroy ourselves?

Many times, it is simple enough as asking ourselves that same question.

Why am I destroying myself?

The Nature of Human

2011-12-07T08:01:00.003-05:00

The true nature of our character is almost never known, almost.

We are comfortable with those who make us feel comfortable, sounds like such a familiar phrase.

Of course we react adversely to those who are adverse to us.

The true nature of our character is divided between those people who can tolerate our own character because they have no real choice to adversely react to our own; and those people who can't tolerate our own character but DO have a choice to adversely react to it.

I have observed this and not surprisingly have made the connection between words like:

- Familiar

- Social

- Adequate

- Appropriate

- Respect

- Space

- Friendly

- Open

And a whole lot of other words that simply continue to conceal the true nature of our character.

Here is my ridiculous proposition:

Denial.

We firmly deny greed, ambitions, fantasies, lies, low self esteem, high self esteem, fears, panic, anger, pain and many other things that are just equal parts of our character and parallel those perceived positive traits.

Maslow knew this long ago; and it is true how by trying to cover one need by ignoring other needs simply makes for a person that is out of balance with their true nature, the composition of both natures, the good and the bad.

Next time I will spend more time looking into my own motives instead of trying to find the motives of others.

The Other F. U.

2011-09-26T13:28:00.001-04:00

Such a difficult thing to do.
How did those who were able to achieve it do it?
How do we forgive ourselves first?
And if we think that we have, how do we know when we have?

Forgiving others, an even more difficult thing to do.
What about those who never forgive us but instead forget us?
Is it easier to forget than forgive?
How do we know when we have forgiven and not simply forgotten?

Then I look at children...

They don't hold a grudge, they don't worry, they trust and they love.
Why do we forget to be children?
Do children even know what forgiveness and forgetfulness are?
They trust and they love.

Then I look at us, adults...

We make claims of being driven by love, by hate, by feelings, by passion, by our children, by god, religion, trust, money, people....

And the list goes on and on, and when you tire of the list, you can always start a new one of opposite meaning or direction to the previous one.

But if we lived like children, what would happen?
Would we have to submit to someone who does not?
But, don't we do that already? Always submitting to someone or something.
So it seems that we all are children at some point.
We are still innocent, submitted to someone or something and still dreaming of a better life, if not pursuing one...

However, the issue remains...

Can we really forgive or forget?

I think we can.
Is not impossible but it is very difficult.
Let's keep on trying.

Que Sera? - Que Sera?

2011-09-21T09:14:00.003-04:00

The disease that hurts more than dying.
What hurts the soul more than our body?
What makes people die inside?
What is worse than hate?
What is our own enemy?

Apathy.

Never a friend, but a companion by choice. Let it in and it becomes your best friend, the best friend that will stay if not made to leave. It is contagious and it can be transmitted to those around you. Perhaps maybe some got it from their surroundings.

My worst enemy is apathy.

There is a cure for this disease, it is hard to swallow for some, but taken in regular small doses is good for our mental and emotional health.

The cure is........

....... Empathy.

Many Years Ahead...

2011-09-20T10:51:00.001-04:00

Many years remain ahead and that is a fact. Time will continue to do what it does best, going forward.

Time will be here much longer than I will. My time is not the time.

My time is limited, it is precious and it is mine for as long as I live.

I live my life in this time and my time in in this life.

The circumstances or reasons for my existence do not matter to me, they never did. I can only give meaning to my life by the time that I spend living.

I don't live for this world, the world does not live for me, I am a part of humanity just like everyone else around me, with our pretensions, defects, virtues and sense of what life is all about.

One day there will be complete peace, when that day comes it will be because I will become time.

Ponderings

2011-09-01T09:26:00.001-04:00

How to destroy your marriage for sure:

- Flirt with others
- Lie about your life
- Stop wearing your wedding ring
- Keep secrets from your spouse
- Talk intimate details of your life with members of the opposite sex
- Make other people a priority, instead of your spouse
- Never admit to being wrong or apologize for anything
- Be a phony and a fake
- Try to control your spouses life while you keep your own little world with secrets
- Never give affection
- Kill all possibilty of giving a minimum amount of undivided time and attention to your spouse
- Never trust or listen to your spouse
- Make sure the advice you receive from your spouse is the last one and discard it
- Don't give your spouse what you give everyone else around you.
- Divulge details about your life to people around you
- Only care about yourself
- Put pride before everything else
- Keep pretending and lying the rest of your life
- And finally cheat, because what else is left after living a life of lies?

How to ensure you obtain a divorce after destroying your marriage for sure:
- Repeat the same steps.

Feeling Exhausted

2011-08-10T16:36:00.001-04:00

Energy never dies.
Energy transforms.
Everything is energy.
I need energy.
I give energy.
I am out of words to say.
Perhaps everything has been said before.
Perhaps not everything has been meant before.
Perhaps everything has been felt before.
Who am I to tell anyone how to live.
Love is truly what matters most.
I simply must try to live better, longer, and if I learned anything, happier.

Slowly Learning

2011-06-20T12:43:00.001-04:00

Pain is still the most effective method of change.
Without it, change is not likely to endure.
Pain can be voluntary or involuntary.
Inflicted on others or oneself.
Pain is necessary.

The worth of pain is joy.
Joy is not always realized when the timing suits us.
Joy has no purpose or use. It comes to us with time.
Joy can only be appreciated after pain. They are forever tied one to the other.

War originates from some sort of pain.
The outcome of war is peace.
Peace brings joy.

Only through pain, war, peace and joy is that we know that we are alive, the rest of the time, time simply goes by, which does not necessarily amount to living.

Take Me or Leave Me

2011-05-19T16:28:00.002-04:00

Our Worth
Our life is worth nothing if our existence is plagued by insecurity, deception and the need to hide. I know people that choose to hide under a persona or two or three personas. I used to have more than one identity, now I realized that it was worthless.

Denial and Pity

I pity those who choose to deny themselves the freedom of truth and self-acceptance.

Love
Love lives on, is not static, is not waiting for anyone, is not sex, is not marriage, is not family.
To me, to love is to give, without ANY expectation. It is true that only fools love.

I will always be a fool.

A decade ends soon

2010-12-10T09:13:00.002-05:00

It is the day of pondering. Or, it could be the day of something else.

Thoughts fly through, as if I have my eyes closed and there is a mental slide show attached to my inner eyelids.

The images are the recorded images of my recent experiences and some past ones. Also images and creations of artists come through the slide show. I listen to Bread's "Make it with you" and suddenly, or rather gradually find bliss instead of insomnia.

Pain is around me, not in me. The weather is a bit dry because of the season, I miss the rain, maybe to wash away some of this pain around me, maybe for cleansing my soul. That rain could hit our dry skins and produce that sweet smell of clay, the clay that we are made of.

Alan Parson's "Eye in the Sky" plays now. I go from bliss to creepiness.

I like this, I like my mood to change like the weather; after all, we are one with this world, why pretend to be better than all that that surrounds us?

I give into the world that I live on.

I am free.

From Hell... I am

2010-12-08T09:56:00.001-05:00

- Did I stop living?
- Did I stop being?
- Did I stop thinking?
- Did I stop reading?
- Did I stop feeling?
- Did I stop looking?
- Did I stop talking?
- Did I stop doing?
- Did I stop expressing?
- Did I stop creating?
- Did I stop inventing?
- Did I stop drinking?
- Did I stop smoking?
- Did I stop eating?
- Did I stop loving?

No.

I stopped writing. Yes.

Am I back to writing?*

HELLS YEAH!

* as poorly as usual

Secondary Christmas Tree Nonsense - Oy vey

2010-12-08T08:53:00.003-05:00

A few days ago, something put a smile on my face. It was a bumper sticker that read:
"I love manatees, they taste just like chicken", immediately,

I made my own spin-off from this funny:

"I love manatees, they taste just like dolphin"

I was not implying such delicacies as Mahi-Mahi.

But then, it hit me.

What the hell is all this secondary Christmas trees nonsense?

Now I can't help poking fun at nonsense.

How about four Christmas trees in a household?

"Oh, wait, I need to get ornaments for my Toilet Tree"

"I already installed my Garage Tree, but I'm unsure about paper or plastic"

"The Master Bedroom Tree is up now, let's climb it, yea-hi!"

"Who are you? And how many trees are in your possession?"

I wish I was exaggerating, but this is as real as the state of the economy.

I love Christmas, and all the Christmas Trees, one per household please.

Later, I have to go get my golf cart driving shoes while I finish my Starbucks Dingleberries Coffee.

Inspirate

2010-09-21T16:12:00.001-04:00

Oftentimes, I think sometimes.
More often than not, I don't.
As I process this process, it is evident that some evidence exists about my existence.

If I say that saying all of the above, is above all, then what would I say about what I am saying?

Writing my writings, expressing my expressions, here I pursue inspiration.
But, am I inspired?

Yes, I am.

Just Beat It

2010-09-21T15:59:00.006-04:00

Let me beat you up.
Not so much, that you will become afraid.
Not so little, that you will be defiant.
Just let me beat you up until I feel that I have beaten you enough.

Let me beat you up until I feel you want it to stop.
Let me beat you up until you feel that I want it to stop.

A problem cannot feel, how can I beat it?
Don't stop the beating, just beat it.

6 Year Old Boy in Balloon - Balloon Boy

2009-10-15T16:43:00.004-04:00

I hope that the kid is alive. it does not matter if the media has been duped, that is better than this child losing his life. I do not blame the parents at all, despite of what it has been said about them.

37 60813620 93 71 6191

2009-01-07T11:24:00.002-05:00

37 8021210 3571 7020 61913 38713893 3570
35705 508 7060 705837090550
83171806770714044170707930973

Randomness of the Soul

2008-12-30T14:07:00.004-05:00

Is time to knock off the sadness.
Life can not continue with doom and gloom,
shake it off I must.

Mistakes of the past, that is all they are, past mistakes,
those are not standing forward, waiting for me.
I can not impose my will on others, but others can not impose it on me.
No! If I respect, I will receive respect, nice try, try again!

I am simply not doing enough for anyone but myself.
When I grow up, will I know that I did?
And if I did, will I be happy to know?
After all, I am happy, I am sad and it rotates and it mixes up and it goes away and it comes back.
I am never happy AND sad, is one or the other. Normalcy is such a pain in the ass when you don't appreciate it.
It has to be expressed, in this case written, then read and thought about, then realize how good it is.

GM got bailed out, Cerberus got bailed out, GMAC got bailed out!!!
Is that what is pissing me off? Yes among other items.

Which Item is pissing me off the most?
- My behaviour

How do I stop being pissed off?
- Changing my behaviour

Will the change behaviour bring temporary relief?
- Sure it will?

How do I know?
- It has before, it will after

If I could only care more for others more than I do for myself...
What would that be like? Do I already? How is it measured?
Is it how much you give, say or do? Who does it matter to?
I don't know, but it sounds nice.
Is that the problem?
It comes and goes

I will try, no promises being made.
More is needed of me, hell!, SOME is needed of me.
Do I believe what I hear? I don't want to, but I do.
Wanting is everything.

I want to...

Cindy Anthony Should be convicted

2008-12-12T16:26:00.003-05:00

The entire Anthony family should be charged with the murder/death and conspiracy to cover up the child's death. The human side of me says that it could have been an accident that Cindy and Casey tried to cover. But the "human" in me says that if there was an accident, why would you want the media circus, the foundation, the lies and drama?

Cindy is a sociopath.
-Did she ever show any stress?
-Did she ever show any sadness?
-Did she ever stop being on TV?
-"This is a tough lady" you may think, but a sociopath is just that; unable to grasp emotions.

I don't even bother with Casey Anthony, she is simply lost.

Now, I hear theories about possible drug cartels being involved on the child's disappearance and death. This is very possible, nevertheless, if this family was under such threat, that means that they preferred to save their own drug-dealing asses than to preserve the life of the child.

There is a remote possibility that the whole story is drug related, but I remain skeptical.

Could there be an inside man in law enforcement that is involved in this mess and will later come forward once Casey comes out of denial? or would be more lies?

Lock them all up.

Save The Drama For Your Mama

2008-11-17T13:23:00.003-05:00

Sparks of sanity or insanity, does it matter anymore?

The days drag on and on, only if made to drag on.

Economic blues, recessional depression, less than perfect times, nostalgia over frivolous and egotistical pursuits.

The haves and the have-nots, the presumptive reach across feelings and emotions that simply are not.

Spiraling down as a vulture; a vulture that only has one eye and fails to see that the kill is not a kill but rather an empty plastic bag from the nearby big mart.

Perhaps the vulture is old, not of age but of tiredness and boredom.

People cry for all the things that they have lost, but they have lost nothing.

I cry for all the things that I have lost, but I have lost nothing, so I keep writing, thinking, spiraling downwards, but I am not a vulture, that, I am certain of.

I yawn, okay, it felt good. My soul aches a little bit, only a little. I just realized why.

It is Monday today after all. I have been having such a great life, that I forgot what adversity was, so I had to fabricate a small portion of it in order to continue my flight into eternity, or so I imagine.

Thank you world, for being screwed up sometimes; Thank you people, for screwing yourselves sometimes. No hard feelings world, only gratitude from me.

I am responsible for my choices, I don't care if anyone else takes that ideal or not.

My back hurts a bit, my head is empty now.

I am alive.

Cindy Anthony Is Guilty As Hell

2008-09-02T11:19:00.003-04:00

As far as I know, and I do not know much; Cindy Anthony is guilty as hell.
Grandma is dirtier and colder than Casey herself. Where else would Casey have gotten such prominent and despicable traits?

The rotten apple grows a new tree from its seeds.

I really can care less if the evidence changes and both mother and daughter
are found innocent, (highly unlikely), my opinion as un-humble as it is, remains.

The face of Cindy Anthony is the face of conspiracy and coverup, it may even be the master mind.

I will sound very pessimistic but I think the truth will not surface in this case. The loads of fingerpointing between this abominable couple (Cindy and Casey) and law enforcement, the media coverage, the third party search teams and all of the who knows what other confused people like me that will only state their idiotic opinions; will make this case a perfect mistery.

- A child is no longer here (according to LE).
- The abominable mother daughter team want their denial an secrecy to be imposed as a new law.

- The child is nowhere to be found. ( The real issue)

This is my opinion, as flawed, correct, uninformed, presumptive, cynical, dangerous,
still my opinion.

May I have another?

Rizal said it best

2007-05-29T16:40:00.000-04:00

¡Adiós, Patria adorada, región del sol querida,
Perla del mar de oriente, nuestro perdido Edén!
A darte voy alegre la triste mustia vida,
Y fuera más brillante, más fresca, más florida,
También por ti la diera, la diera por tu bien.
En campos de batalla, luchando con delirio,
Otros te dan sus vidas sin dudas, sin pesar;
El sitio nada importa, ciprés, laurel o lirio,
Cadalso o campo abierto, combate o cruel martirio,
Lo mismo es si lo piden la patria y el hogar.
Yo muero cuando veo que el cielo se colora
Y al fin anuncia el día tras lóbrego capuz;
si grana necesitas para teñir tu aurora,
Vierte la sangre mía, derrámala en buen hora
Y dórela un reflejo de su naciente luz.
Mis sueños cuando apenas muchacho adolescente,
Mis sueños cuando joven ya lleno de vigor,
Fueron el verte un día, joya del mar de oriente,
Secos los negros ojos, alta la tersa frente,
Sin ceño, sin arrugas, sin manchas de rubor.
Ensueño de mi vida, mi ardiente vivo anhelo,
¡Salud te grita el alma que pronto va a partir!
¡Salud! Ah, que es hermoso caer por darte vuelo,
Morir por darte vida, morir bajo tu cielo,
Y en tu encantada tierra la eternidad dormir.
Si sobre mi sepulcro vieres brotar un día
Entre la espesa yerba sencilla, humilde flor,
Acércala a tus labios y besa al alma mía,
Y sienta yo en mi frente bajo la tumba fría,
De tu ternura el soplo, de tu hálito el calor.
Deja a la luna verme con luz tranquila y suave,
Deja que el alba envíe su resplandor fugaz,
Deja gemir al viento con su murmullo grave,
Y si desciende y posa sobre mi cruz un ave,
Deja que el ave entone su cántico de paz.
Deja que el sol, ardiendo, las lluvias evapore
Y al cielo tornen puras, con mi clamor en pos;
Deja que un ser amigo mi fin temprano llore
Y en las serenas tardes cuando por mí alguien ore,
¡Ora también, oh Patria, por mi descanso a Dios!
Ora por todos cuantos murieron sin ventura,
Por cuantos padecieron tormentos sin igual,
Por nuestras pobres madres que gimen su amargura;
Por huérfanos y viudas, por presos en tortura
Y ora por ti que veas tu redención final.
Y cuando en noche oscura se envuelva el cementerio
Y solos sólo muertos queden velando allí,
No turbes su reposo, no turbes el misterio,
Tal vez acordes oigas de cítara o salterio,
Soy yo, querida Patria, yo que te canto a ti.
Y cuando ya mi tumba de todos olvidada
No tenga cruz ni piedra que marquen su lugar,
Deja que la are el hombre, la esparza con la azada,
Y mis cenizas, antes que vuelvan a la nada,
El polvo de tu alfombra que vayan a formar.
Entonces nada importa me pongas en olvido.
Tu atmósfera, tu espacio, tus valles cruzaré.
Vibrante y limpia nota seré para tu oído,
Aroma, luz, colores, rumor, canto, gemido,
Constante repitiendo la esencia de mi fe.
Mi patria idolatrada, dolor de mis dolores,
Querida Filipinas, oye el postrer adiós.
Ahí te dejo todo, mis padres, mis amores.
Voy donde no hay esclavos, verdugos ni opresores,
Donde la fe no mata, donde el que reina es Dios.
Adiós, padres y hermanos, trozos del alma mía,
Amigos de la infancia en el perdido hogar,
Dad gracias que descanso del fatigoso día;
Adiós, dulce extranjera, mi amiga, mi alegría,
Adiós, queridos seres, morir es descansar.

English Translation
My Last Farewell
Farewell, beloved Country, treasured region of the sun,
Pearl of the sea of the Orient, our vanquished Eden!
To you I gladly surrender this melancholy life;
And were it brighter, fresher, gaudier,
Even then I’d give it to you, to you alone would then I give.
In fields of battle, deliriously fighting,
Others give you their lives, without doubt, without regret;
Where there’s cypress, laurel or lily,
On a plank or open field, in combat or cruel martyrdom,
If the home or country asks, it's all the same--it matters not.
I die when I see the sky unfurls its colors
And at last after a cloak of darkness announces the day;
If you need scarlet to tint your dawn,
Paint with my blood, pour it as the moment comes,
And may it be gilded by a reflection of the heaven’s new-born light.
My dreams, even as a child,
My dreams, when a young man in the prime of life,
Were to see you one day, jewel of the eastern seas,
Dry those dark eyes, raise that forehead high,
Without frown, without wrinkle, without stain of shame.
My lifelong dream, my deep burning desire,
Is for this soul that will soon depart to cry out: Salud!
To your health! Oh how beautiful to fall to give you flight,
To die to give you life, to rest under your sky,
And in your enchanted land forever sleep.
If upon my grave one day you may behold,
Amidst the dense grass, a simple lowly flower,
Place it upon your lips, and my soul you’ll kiss,
And on my brow may I feel, under the cold tomb,
The tenderness of your touch, the warmth of your breath.
Let the moon see me in soft and tranquil light,
Let the dawn burst forth its fleeting radiance,
Let the wind moan with its gentle murmur,
And should a bird descend and rest on my cross,
Let it sing its canticle of peace.
Let the burning sun evaporate the rain,
And with the struggle behind, towards the sky may they turn pure;
Let a friend mourn my early demise,
And in the serene afternoon, when someone prays for me,
O Country, pray that God will also grant me rest!
Pray for all the unfortunate ones who died,
For all who suffered torment unequaled,
For grieving mothers who in bitterness cry,
For orphans and widows, for prisoners in torture,
And for yourself to see your redemption at last.
And when the burial ground is shrouded in dark night,
And there alone, only the departed remain in vigil,
Disturb not their rest, nor their secrets,
And should you hear chords from a zither or harp,
'Tis I, O land beloved, 'tis I, to you I sing !
And when my grave, then by all forgotten,
has not a cross nor stone to mark its place,
Let men plow and with a spade disperse it,
And before my ashes return to nothing,
May they be the dust that carpets your fields.
Then nothing matters, cast me in oblivion.
Your air, your space, your valleys I will cross.
I will be vibrant music to your ears,
Aroma, light, colors, murmur, moan, and song,
Ever echoing the essence of my faith.
Land that I love, sorrow of my sorrows,
Adored Filipinas, hear my last good-bye.
There I leave you all, my parents, my beloved.
I go where there are no slaves, hangmen nor oppressors,
Where faith does not kill, where the one who reigns is God.
Goodbye, dear parents, brother and sisters, fragments of my soul,
Childhood friends in the home now gone,
Give thanks that I rest from this wearisome day;
Goodbye, sweet stranger, my friend, my joy;
Farewell, loved ones. To die is to rest.

Filipino Translation
PAHIMAKAS
Pinipintuho kong Bayan ay paalam,
Lupang iniirog ng sikat ng araw,
mutyang mahalaga sa dagat Silangan,
kaluwalhatiang sa ami'y pumanaw.
Masayang sa iyo'y aking idudulot
ang lanta kong buhay na lubhang malungkot;
maging maringal man at labis alindog
sa kagalingan mo ay aking ding handog.
Sa pakikidigma at pamimiyapis
ang alay ng iba'y ang buhay na kipkip,
walang agam-agam, maluag sa dibdib,
matamis sa puso at di ikahapis.
Saan man mautas ay dikailangan,
cipres o laurel, lirio ma'y patungan
pakikipaghamok, at ang bibitayan,
yaon ay gayon din kung hiling ng Bayan.
Ako'y mamamatay, ngayong namamalas
na sa silinganan ay namamanaag
yaong maligayang araw na sisikat
sa likod ng luksang nagtabing na ulap.
Ang kulay na pula kung kinakailangan
na maitina sa iyong liwayway,
dugo ko'y isabong at siyang ikinang
ng kislap ng iyong maningning na ilaw
Ang aking adhika sapul magkaisip
ng kasalukuyang bata pang maliit,
ay ang tanghaling ka at minsan masilip
sa dagat Silangan hiyas na marikit.
Natuyo ang luhang sa mata'y nunukal,
taas na ang noo't walang kapootan,
walang bakas kunot ng kapighatian
gabahid man dungis niyong kahihiyan.
Sa kabuhayang ko ang laging gunita
maningas na aking ninanasa-nasa
ay guminhawa ka ang hiyas ng diwa
pag hingang papanaw ngayong biglang-bigla.
Ikaw'y guminhawa laking kagandahang
akoy malugmok, at ikaw ay matanghal,
hiniga'y malagot, mabuhay ka lamang
bangkay ko'y masilong sa iyong Kalangitan.
Kung sa libingan ko'y tumubong mamalas
sa malagong damo mahinhing bulaklak,
sa mga labi mo'y mangyayaring itapat,
sa kaluluwa ko hatik ay igawad.
At sa aking noo nawa'y iparamdam,
sa lamig ng lupa ng aking libingan,
ang init ng iyong paghingang dalisay
at simoy ng iyong paggiliw na tunay.
Bayaang ang buwan sa aki'y ititig
ang iwanag niyang lamlam at tahimik,
liwayway bayaang sa aki'y ihatid
magalaw na sinag at hanging hagibis.
Kung sakasakaling bumabang humantong
sa krus ko'y dumapo kahit isang ibon
doon ay bayaan humuning hinahon
at dalitin niya payapang panahon.
Bayaan ang ningas ng sikat ng araw
ula'y pasingawin noong kainitan,
magbalik sa langit ng boong dalisay
kalakip ng aking pagdaing na hiyaw.
Bayaang sino man sa katotang giliw
tangisang maagang sa buhay pagkitil;
kung tungkol sa akin ay may manalangin
idalangin, Bayan, yaring pagka himbing.
Idalanging lahat yaong nangamatay,
mangagatiis hirap na walang kapantay;
mga ina naming walang kapalaran
na inihihibik ay kapighatian.
Ang mga bao't pinapangulila,
ang mga bilanggong nagsisipagdusa;
dalanginin namang kanilang makita
ang kalayaan mong, ikagiginhawa.
At kung an madilim na gabing mapanglaw
ay lumaganap na doon sa libinga't
tanging mga patay ang nangaglalamay,
huwag bagabagin ang katahimikan.
Ang kanyang hiwagay huwag gambalain;
kaipala'y maringig doon ang taginting,
tunog ng gitara't salterio'y mag saliw,
ako, Bayan yao't kita'y aawitin.
Kung ang libingan ko'y limot na ng lahat
at wala ng kurus at batang mabakas,
bayaang linangin ng taong masipag,
lupa'y asarolin at kauyang ikalat.
At mga buto ko ay bago matunaw
mauwi sa wala at kusang maparam,
alabok ng iyong latag ay bayaang
siya ang babalang doo'y makipisan.
Kung magka gayon na'y aalintanahin
na ako sa limot iyong ihabilin
pagka't himpapawid at ang panganorin
mga lansangan mo'y aking lilibutin.
Matining na tunog ako sa dingig mo,
ilaw, mga kulay, masamyong pabango,
ang ugong at awit, pag hibik sa iyo,
pag asang dalisay ng pananalig ko.
Bayang iniirog, sakit niyaring hirap,
Katagalugang ko pinakaliliyag,
dinggin mo ang aking pagpapahimakas;
diya'y iiwan ko sa iyo ang lahat.
Ako'y patutungo sa walang busabos,
walang umiinis at berdugong hayop;
pananalig doo'y di nakasasalot,
si Bathala lamang dooy haring lubos.
Paalam, magulang at mga kapatid
kapilas ng aking kaluluwa't dibdib
mga kaibigan bata pang maliit
sa aking tahanan di na masisilip.
Pag pasasalamat at napahinga rin,
paalam estranherang kasuyo ko't aliw,
paalam sa inyo, mga ginigiliw;
mamatay ay siyang pagkakagupiling!

And to all of those who I caused dissapointment, please know that I regret doing so, and that it was not my intention nor it was your great personas (k9!). There are forces more powerful at stake this time, and trying to pull away from their gravitational field would be a disaster.

Harmony is not a town in Central FL, it is the alignment of all planets, Mars, Venus and others.
Such alignment is beyond our comprehension, is just the way it is, or perhaps it is the will of all.

Life has stages, but to some, life is a stage, the stage, one stage.

Adios, I will keep seeking a higher understanding of life.

Does it matter?

2007-04-27T17:17:00.000-04:00

Is it really Friday? No, is not.
Friday starts the minute after all worries have gone away.
Friday is a state of mind.
Friday therefore is any day, but any day is not Friday.
There could be almost Friday.
Today is almost Friday, not a real Friday but still part of Friday.
Friday is not Fryday, or Frayday.
Is it Friday ever? No and Yes.
What is Friday?
Friday is me.
I am Friday.
IAMF, or Am I?

Today, Gone Is Friday.
As fast as it came, but it was here, wait! it is here again, nope it is gone now…

My name is not Mr. Friday. A few people know that.

K9

2007-01-18T15:33:00.000-05:00

There will always be a place for you here...
Raw Prime Rib and Puppy Chow on the side

Lost in the high street, where the dogs run
Roaming suburban boys
Mothers got a hairdo to be done
She says they're too old for toys
Stood by the bus stop with a felt pen
In this suburban hell
And in the distance a police car
To break the suburban spell

Lets take a ride, and run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia
You cant hide, run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia

Break the window by the town hall
Listen, the siren screams
There in the distance, like a roll call
Of all the suburban dreams

Lets take a ride, and run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia
You cant hide, run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia

I only wanted something else to do but hang around
I only wanted something else to do but hang around
I only wanted something else to do but hang around
I only wanted something else to do but hang around

Its on the front page of the papers
This is their hour of need
Where's a policeman when you need one
To blame the colour tv?

Lets take a ride, and run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia
You cant hide, run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia

Take a ride, and run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia
You cant hide, run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia

Run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia
You can't hide
In suburbia
In suburbia
In suburbia
In suburbia
In suburbia

Invisible Special Forces

2007-01-02T09:39:00.000-05:00

Bloggers that have come by to check on me, I am all right now. Thanks a million for caring.
Phew! Had a close call with the guy wearing the black dress with the hood and the tool that is used by some farmers.

Here is a hint.

Wouldn't it be nice if you knew what you are into if you happen to sit on a chair without moving, for about 8 hours or more? There lays the problem, you either find-out the hard way or you will probably hear it from someone. Don't try it!

And don't shoot first, you maybe wrong and live to regret it. And always know that it was better to be dead right than living wrong.

As the saying goes, it is not by the sword that you will die by, but by its rusty build up.

On another note,
Merry Thanksgiving
Happy Christmas
Chanukah Year.
To all creatures abstract, subjective or layered.

The force that the blogmmunity pulls with is very powerful. No member seems to detach from its core, although there are phenomena that will eclipse some of its components (myself), you are never and completely out of orbit. I thought that this fact is admirable.
Plagues come and go, so does good and bad luck, health and riches, life, death, good and evil. Change is that only thing that does not change. It is the force of this blogmmunity, and its strength are the minds guided by the hearts of very passionate and fortunate (me) people. That is all real. It is powerful. It can not be touched. It can only be felt. If you are always changing, thinking, feeling, and transmitting.

Keywords

2006-10-15T10:12:00.000-04:00

Back, Asia, Beach, Traffic, Bad, Health, Days, Embolism, 23, Peace, Massage, Food, Good, Sadness, Threat, Shots, Belly, Flu, Sleep, Surprise, Danger, Admiration, Reading, People, Blogs, Locals, Culture, Cheap, Bliss, Happiness, Macau, Hong Kong, Boracay, Aklan, Pig, Prawns, Giant Prawns, Us Customs, Tanduay, Licenciados, Sweedish, Happiness, Worries, Medicine, Attention, Separation, Missing, Distance, Silence, Now, Works, Looks, Stress, Air, Clean, Congested, Roads, Me.

The Daily Inspiration of my Life...

2006-09-01T10:08:00.000-04:00

Or at least the artistic interpretation of some.

1. Robert Duvall, Apocalypse Now (1979): You smell that? Do you smell that? Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end...

2. Jack Nicholson, A Few Good Men (1992): You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

3. Marlon Brando, On The Waterfront (1954): Remember that night in the Garden? You came down to my dressing room and you said 'kid, this ain't your night. We're going for the price on Wilson'... You was my brother, Charlie. You shoulda looked out for me a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum. Which is what I am. Let's face it.

4. Samuel L Jackson, Pulp Fiction (1994): The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

5. Michael Douglas, Wall Street (1987): The point is, ladies and gentleman, is that greed - for lack of a better word - is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms - greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind. And Greed - you mark my words - will not only save Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.

6. Peter Finch, Network (1976): I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth; banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter; punks are running wild in the streets, and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it.

7. Ewan McGregor, Trainspotting (1996): Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family, Choose a big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends... Choose your future. Choose life.

8. Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry (1971): I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?

9. Richard E Grant, Withnail and I (1987): . What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, how like an angel in apprehension, how like a God! The beauty of the world, paragon of animals; and yet to me, what is this quintessence of dusk. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither, nor women neither.

10. Mel Gibson, Braveheart (1995): You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight? Aye, fight and you may die, run and you'll live. At least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!

11. Mr Q, The Domain (2006): Semper Audio, Semper Video, Semper Disco.

A Time to reflect.

2006-08-17T15:47:00.000-04:00

http://www.pcsuccess.us/yrg/farewell.html

The Rat's Rant

2006-08-11T09:43:00.000-04:00

How can we not be loosing when the terrorist keep dictating which way we should live?

Ahh!. Before you board that plane, don't forget to puke, piss and break a sweat, as you may not want to be detained by TSA or the SMs.

Call me a radical or unpatriotic, if you must, but here it goes.
If they were able to subdue Spain by bombing, aren't they subduing us in many ways by creating a little chaos here, a little chaos there?
How far are these airport situations will continue to go?
Are we really any safer?
Should I change careers and start selling civilian MREs at an airport stand?

We are so great at talking sports, such as football strategy and basketball speed. But we fail to see what these opponents's team will play next. We may as well play baseball with them and see what happens. That is all we are doing here. Playing baseball, think about it.

Every ninth inning we will keep losing this game if we don’t switch to one that we can win.
The borders still wide open, so are the oceans, the sky, Wal-Mart, Home Depot, Tractor Supply and many more.

What is the purpose of the Parrot Act if it fails to deliver results?
I am wearing the tin foil suit right now.

How could we possibly be beaten at the very same games that we invented ourselves.

Deception, arms trafficking, torture, assassinations, freedom fighters, paramilitary death squads and right out bullying intimidation.
Then we continue to crumble away like Rome by trying to make everyone happy. These things I ponder on, while my noise canceling headphones are not canceling that much.
How does Israel deal with terrorism? Aggressively. Do they continue to be targets? Yes.
Well, I am done. For now. I will feel better 23 hours after being 30,000 ft. in the air.

I am in the Inside Looking Out.

2006-08-03T14:04:00.000-04:00

It is true. When you are busy as hell, there is very little time to complaint.
But there is also very little time to pull the cord down and release the pressure from the valve.
Months have gone by, with the speed of days. Here is what I think has happened through this travel of mine in space and time:

Ben came back, and with fresh material for everyone's delight.
K9 proved that even if you are a dog, you should not be treated as one, and dogs have hearts and emotions too.
Infi has been busy traveling.
Bogs has been having fun.
Lux turning people on, with her passionate write ups.
Jack honored me with his comments on the Blopix.
Bird flew out of her regular pattern and also came to say hi to her relatives on the Blopix.
Cezi also came by while I was out.
Aunty is probably brewing another potion in the backyard.
Bronxbt said nice things also.
My mind is still uploading data as I write. The time to download is limited and quickly becoming a luxury. I only hope this real Dog Days of Summer are soon to fade, so that I can get to do what is really important. Nothing.

The Roach is Upside Down, but its legs are still moving

2006-06-14T11:13:00.000-04:00

Life truly is a learning stage.
And the learning does not end when the heart stops (Ben would agree).
It is also true that from the most adverse situations, one can grow as a person, but it also applies to experiences that we take for granted, like saying “Hi”, there is a lot to be learned on a “Hi”, I of course leave you on a riddle with that.

The desire of transferring our learning’s earnings is one the most difficult challenges that I have come to face.
Telling, demonstrating, following up and re-starting all over again can get you as far as the recipient’s imagination, then there is the issue of interest. This knowledge that is so precious to you; is it as precious to the recipient? No. Never is.

If it is exciting, not only you learn, but you are also enlightened by whatever “it” is.
If is not exciting, you have also learned that your time on this stage would have better spent on something else, you become wiser as a result.

But once you become wiser and it serves you, aren’t we wasting a lot of that wisdom on dead end roads. Ever been there, in one of those? You barely missed the big amber sign and on the way back, not only you have learned something, but you also wasted as much by not transferring the event to the books of life.

This “community” as someone called it, (and rightly so) is one that diffuses its learning’s earnings and I just want to say that I appreciate everything that is shared in it.

From the abstract and spiritual artwork of Ben, to the barking, biting, loyal and sometimes playful K9’s charges. And in between there is the fountain of youth that is called Infinitesimal, with the complexity of Mad Malva, the observations of Bogs, laid out and served with salt and pepper on the side, and Aunty with the big house where everyone is welcomed, but you better not walk in when she is out of the property, and all the other beings that I come across every time that I am going up and down the blogland.

I am not trying to be nice, I am expressing what’s on my mind as usual, that is what I do here, that is what we all do is it not? Go ahead and miss the big amber sign, but tell us all about it.

Thanks and the show must go on

2006-05-17T08:27:00.000-04:00

I touch a machine of some sort every day. Today I had the opportunity to get to this particular one, to quickly write THANKS to all this wonderful community of sloggers -borrowing Bogs word- for visiting and sharing their thoughts on this rest area along the Interblogstate, (not in Germany). Although I cannot share the details of the last couple of weeks, I can tell you that it felt like years, long and tedious ones and the only outlet for written thoughts was “unavailable”.

But there is good news, I hope. New assignments, new faces and different environments.
And last night, I had 8 hours of sleep! Once again, for now; I get to care about what date and what day of the week it is.

Trials and tribulations are not over yet though.
Isolation is imminent for the next weeks if not months. I will try to post whenever the machine allows. Taking a 6 month challenge was part of the plan, and if successful, I shall return to human life.

I hope that exhaustion has not erased my memory, and in no particular order, thanks to:

Ben
K9
Bogs
Infinitessima
Fatty
Jack
Grant
Adamsoup
Ardalair
Bird
Blue Bolt
Aunty Belle
Gone Native
Luxlucivita
Velvet Acid Tongue

As time and machine allows, I will eavesdrop to your blogs from time to time and comment. Know that I do read them.

Ab imo pectore
Audio, video, disco

Mister Q.

Oh Que SERE, Que SERE

2006-04-27T17:58:00.000-04:00

Heavy "workloads" on 72 hour intervals but still going at it. Normality will soon return. I hope.

Now you all know the real me. Hope you still like me.

2006-04-12T11:11:00.000-04:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Interesting

2006-04-11T17:15:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Jack for the link.

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

You Have Got To Be Freaking Kidding Me

2006-04-07T14:30:00.000-04:00

So, I called the 3 Day Walk for cancer of Tampa.

I wanted to support the cause, I love long walks or runs sometimes, nothing wrong, right? Well.
I come to find out that in order to participate as an individual walker, I must raise over two thousand cojones, and if i am part of a team, then more cash must be shelled out.

What the hell are they thinking?!!!

From a business prospective, the lower you set that goal, the more people that will be able to participate or be willing to donate, it is a simple game of numbers, but the geniuses in charge of the event figure their own conclusion.
I was really wanting to walk and help with some cash, but I can not go on to steal money from people, to feed the cancer pimps.

I really got pissed about this. Here I am saying to myself:
"Hmmm, maybe I can donate some 200 bucks and then go have fun walking" Hell no, I gots to get the 2200 bucks to even come close!!!

That is it for me with the bastards running these shows, if people in desperate need of help are not getting any, they can thank their event coordinators.
By the way, if you want to know how to raise money, they got it all covered with books, videos and training.

On the other hand if any of you righteousmongers thinks that I am being unreasonable, go ahead and start the direct deposit allotments to my ripoffgoodpeople account in Niger.

PS or BS: I don't want to hear about how much is admin costs and this and that.

Misterious Ways

2006-03-31T20:10:00.000-05:00

My hands were rushing with both speed and lots of care, as I started to remove the yellow tape. What a feeling, that feeling that I had a long time ago, in my childhood. The expectations of something special, neatly and carefully wrapped, this time from a complete stranger, one that I now call a friend. His name is Ben. Thanks.

Shape Of my Heart

2006-03-27T11:52:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Infi for motivating me to post this.

"Shape Of My Heart" By Sting.

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart

Disturbed

2006-03-20T12:28:00.000-05:00

People are often the blame of a rough, violent or abnormal childhood. Is it justifiable?, or is it entirely true? Is the cycle eternal?
People that commit hineous crimes, some of them are deem to be insane others are evil; is it the best legal team who determines the difference?.
When do you become aware that you are a monster? How do you know you are not one?
Most of us have the ability to think anything, therefore lies the risk of acting on our thoughts.
That balance of making the right choices is what separates normal from abnormal, I guess?
With that being said, we all can be abnormal at times, it depends a lot on our enviroment. All this has been said before right?. Right.

I admit to be abnormal in the group that is "normal". Funny thing is that I come across other people that are not part of the normal bunch, but they are not part of "my abnormal" bunch either.

I think I am abnormal because I have never been part of any "click" or the people that I relate to accept me the way I am without me trying to fit on their "click" if there is any. But what about those other abnormal people that do not fit in any click and have no other people to relate to as a group? These are the some of the characteristics I have found while working with them and meeting them outside of work.

- Highly Active but with no ends to any meaning.
- Highly pollite but not behind closed doors.
- Highly emotional, but with an agenda.
- Highly agreeable, but overly critical behind closed doors.
- No love or sex partner and no fruits of life from their existence.
- Out the time that they breathe, 70% is keeping appearances, 25% working on improving their deceiving techniques, 4% is regreting their existence and the last 1% is a scretive nature.

In my opinion, this is not normal, but it is not in tune with my abnormality either, so what kind of people are these? From all the people that I must work with on a daily basis, there is one of these individuals for every 20 normal people. And one for every 5 abnormal people. My interest arises from not knowing how these individuals see the other two groups. What group is responsible for producing the kind of people that I mentioned in the begining of this post?
I don't know.

What is your opinion?
Are you one of us? Or one of Them?
Is it prejudice?
What are we to do for ourselves and/or for them?

For starters, I for one brough it from thought to written form.

Numb, Slow or Frozen

2006-03-13T14:01:00.000-05:00

Am I?, sometimes. Just got a dozen phone calls. Someone close suddenly passed.
No tears (yet). I say, "She is finally free from pain, peace has come to pick her up and taken her for a trip to eternity."
Is what I told some of the mourners, perhaps I am one of them, but we do not share the same emotions. Hours went by while my mind went out to meet her and tell her that I loved her and that I wish that I had seen her one more time before her departure.

Came back from the mind trip, mourning was still present and the pain and sorrow that was present in the air, finally made me take the trip with the others, once I embraced it and gave into it, it only lasted a few minutes. Went back to my normal state of mind which is normally peace.

Now I wonder. Who is next? When will my turn be?
I hope that it is understood that it may seem numb at times, but sometimes the path to tribulation is one that chooses us and that may appear numb to some.

She rests in peace now, and so do I. For now.

Quords

2006-03-08T16:40:00.000-05:00

These are some of the words that I have invented. I declare by this medium that they are the sole property of Mr Q 4 U. Anyone wishing to use them, may do so by simply copying and pasting or typing them. More to come as I go. If you have one, create your own post.
DISCLAIMER: The criterion is that these words are not in the dictionary and it is irrelevant if they are part of a different language or used in a different context. No truthiness here.

3Dlingual: Some sort of language that some sort of dogs sort of use
Blopix: Blog of pictures
Geobusdicche: Martian for stupid
Grossvernment: A corrupt government
Grossvernor: A representative of the grossvernment
Idiotnaire: Someone with millions of ideas
Qtmented: Beautiful but insane. Not insanely beautiful
Quomain: Mister Q's Domain
Quords: Words by Mr Q

Classic Stuff

2006-03-08T10:04:00.000-05:00

The Patriot Act II is out. What a great play!

I don’t really care about the Parrot Act, as long as:

- They don’t share the info with the banks; I hate junk snail mail.
- The parrots handling the data keep their mouth shut.
- They don’t interfere with my job; hate to loose equipment in the field
- I don’t see myself on the internet doing something that nobody needs to know
- It doesn’t cost me a lot.
- The policy is revised periodically
- ETC

Should any of my rights be violated, the best counter measure would be to vote for another idiot in 2008. Really, what the hell else can you do about it?

In the meantime, I will keep saving money to buy my own local newspaper and start manipulating the government like the owners of the media do, with the same tactics used today.

Fear

Misinformation

Disinformation

Propaganda

Blackmail

Tax favors

And the great favorite, charity fundraisers.

They don’t call it the land of opportunity for nothing.

Ambushed

2006-03-02T17:30:00.000-05:00

Presidente Beer, so refreshing.

Sometimes is a bit sweet and with a complex bitterness to it.

When served cold, it is great.

But, but,

If you leave out there for a few days in the cooler, outside, in the porch, by the grill, with the melted bags of ice, rusting the caps, staining the walls of you igloo, then you gotta be a though one to drink that shit.

So, what happens with the beer after it has reached that state?

We want to toss it, right? I say, hell yeah!

But, but,

There will be people out there that will pick up the rusted-ass caps and stick-em back in the fridge. Now, we all now that beer has a shelf life, right? So why are all these people making excuses for spoiled beer? Because they bought it and they don’t know how to let go. Not only that,

But, but

They will even invite you over their place and say, “beer is on me”.

Conclusion: If you are going to buy beer, make the decision first of what you will do with it, should it become spoiled. And remember that during beer prohibitions time (normally 4 to 8 years depending on the hops) the brewery will be closed, so go ahead and stack on scotch which will never let you down.

At the time of this thought, El Presidente beer was way over the expiration date, but some (a lot of) people decided to extend the shelf life of the beer because they were stinking drunk already and they were employed by America Brewing Co., which offered a comprehensive benefits package that included profit sharing.

Today I Remembered that...

2006-02-28T16:48:00.000-05:00

Powerful people know better because they care less.

Things are simpler because they don’t have to explain or do those.

Experience has served a purpose. How else would they know?

Many mistakes have been made; therefore the rules.

Powerful people are, in part, because of others help. They recognize that.

Generosity is found in power, in microscopic amounts or in misunderstood ways, but it is always there.

Power is so many things to so many people that it is hard to define sometimes, kinda like happiness. But, can we become happy without power? Or can we become powerful without happiness? I believe that one supplies the other.

I met someone successful today and learned that his approach to life relied on power, the kind of power that is unspoken and that emanates from positive energy.

He was there to serve us all, because it was his job, because he loves his job and because by doing what he loves doing the most, he is successful.

Happiness is the power of loving. Period.

Human Nature and Materialism

2006-02-27T11:54:00.000-05:00

A few items that I live with but can also live without

Happy Children running around a yard
The smell of hot dirt being sprinkled by a summer rain while having a cold beer
The aroma of a fine aged cigar
The taste of a single malt while sitting outside in 55° weather
Cruising down the road at 135 mph
A medium well Rib-Eye with veggies
The real accomplishment of a day’s work (not the sense of)
People thanking you for lending an uninterested hand
Watching a musical or a theater performance
Talented People
Motivating others
Saving Lives
Learning to speak in silence and listening
Expression of self without fear
Knowing what you want in life
Welcoming Friends
Saying goodbye to "buddies"
Telling someone "FOFF"
Sleeping 12 hours
Playing poker, dominoes or mahjong
Walking in the mountains, canoeing, outdoor living
Simplicity
Sincerity
Selfishness
Survival
Summer
Spring
Service
Self Reflection
Daydreaming
Not knowing what other things out there may bring pleasure
Happiness is whatever makes you happy

One Day

2006-02-23T17:57:00.000-05:00

Eyes are watery and irritated.
Days have been long this week.
Nights have been short and restless.
People around me have made an effort to be as irritating as one can be before being hit by a moving train. (Is my state of mind, not theirs)

I stop for a moment and yell as hard as I can.
“Shut the Hell Up!!!”
There was no reactions, no frills, nothing.
The valve was released and the steam came out rushing.
Turned off the heat, the boiling stopped.

Light up the grill.
Put some peppers and onions on the foil,sprinkle oregano, black pepper and salt on top of the cubed potatoes,
Double wrap the foil and place on the grill…

After 4 minutes, I like the smell. Hit play and Dave Brubeck delights,
Crap! Is too busy. I need some Chet Baker instead. Good.
Pour some Oban in the glass, its pleasant out here in the porch, birds are playing on the lake. The smell builds up. I sit and sip on it slowly. Love For Sale is on…

Put the foil on the glass table surface and taste it.
Damn it!!! Its too salty!!!, I eat it anyway, (can’t waste food) I finish my Oban.
This time, no salt. Butter will do just fine. This time is good. Just the way it should be.

I take a deep breath and laugh.

No longer tired, hungry or irritated…

I fall asleep.

I feel better now.

For Four Fours

2006-02-22T22:01:00.000-05:00

4 things that I need every morning:
1. Fresh warm Challah bread
2. Vermont Cultured Butter
3. Polamer Jelly
4. Warm milk with instant coffee in it.

4 Things that turn me off:
1. Lack of sincerity
2. Lack of originality
3. Lack of Hygiene
4. Lack of mellowing

4 things I believe in:
1. A Supreme Being
2. Not Matching its power
3. Diplomacy before forcefulness
4. Selfishness

4 Things I am afraid of:
1. Inactivity
2. A Slow Death
3. Man's relentless pursuits for nothing
4. Hate

4 Things I do every day:
1. Meditate
2. Say "I Love You"
3. Touch an electronic device
4. Analyze people

4 things I want to have/do:
I want to have a Carrera GT
I want to have 100 million bucks
I have 7 more kids
I want to adopt 93 more

4 people I want to see:
1. The extensions of my life
2. Ed,Johnathan,Gerardo and Tio Antonio
3. Dad
4. God

4 numbers that rule my life (all even)
2
4
6
8

4 favorite colors
Red
Blue
Black
Orange

4 People to do the list
Bogs
The guy who writes too much
Adamsoup
Blue Thunderous Bolt

4 words of advice for doing too many fours
Don't
Do
It
Again

House Fried Rice (Re-edited)

2006-02-17T14:57:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been to an ethnic restaurant?
What are those Chinese cooks eating back there sitting on those boxes,
It sure doesn’t look like my General Tso’s chicken.

“Geez, I would like to try real Chinese food”

I would ask you,

Can you handle it?
Do you like the other “normal” food they serve?
Are you happy with what you order? Always?
Is the food cheap?

No answer is the same, easy or even needed.

The Chinese restaurant is open all the time because its customers like it that way.
Those few that get sick from yesterday’s rice, will simply be more careful of their selections in the future, but sure as hell they will go back for that delicious Chinese food.

Real Chinese food is not available to all. It is by invitation only.
It is not up to you to know how to get invited. Just be happy with the non-real Chinese food, that way if you ever try the real one and you don’t like it, at least you have the other one.
Understand how difficult it is to find other types of food when you are addicted to a specific one.

So next time you complaint to the manager, understand that even tough he wants you, he does not need you but needs everyone, and until everyone doesn’t complaint management doesn’t change, and if it does, the restaurant will still remain open; somebody else will buy it and will become a chain.

I conclude by writting that if you can't stand Chinese Food (real or not), The Man Ager and their back of the house recipes then tough, because we support their enterprise one way or the other and it is uncertain how long it will take for a change in the vicious cycle. Democracy, Freedom and other delicious dishes in the menu are very expensive but we all like them from time to time and the other not so popular dishes are there becuase is what sells the most when things are "slow".

Never was I thinking about any of this while eating my greasy fried chicken wings dipped in soy sauce and forking out the House Special Fired rice with extra shrimp, nor it came to my mind the day that my passport got stamped at MIA. Is stuff you simply pickup around every block in America. Viva El Gobierno!!!, Andale, Andale, Andale.

Today's VD's - (Bogs' heartless now)

2006-02-14T12:40:00.000-05:00

Day for roses or flowers or stuffed characters.
Another day like yesterday, but cannot know if it will be like tomorrow, we could speculate that it will be.

We can practice what we do on this day every day. It would be great, I am allowed to dream, aren’t we all?

Let’s not do anything today, instead let’s do it tomorrow or next week, then try again next month, try to make it a habit and maybe, maybe it will be reciprocated.

It is not about the day, it is about ourselves, so wouldn’t it be nice if we take care of ourselves more often? Always celebrate life, while you have it.

Dangerous Minds

2006-02-08T13:21:00.000-05:00

I owe it to this.
K9's Human Nature's Photo Essay
And I left the droppings on a comment there. Just give me a smoke before you pull the trigger(s)

I went.
I hunted.
I gathered.
I made the drum.
I beat it.
I walk while beating my drum.
Now have someone gather for you. What happens next?
Have someone hunt for you, ditto?
And finally if someone made the drum for you, can you choose to beat it when you want to? Are you allowed to walk on the shoes someone made for you even?

Christianity,
Musmlinism,
Budism,
Shitism,
Is all man made shiiat.
The weakest minds are always driven by the strongest, and innocent victims get caught in the middle of it all.

We are humans, each one of us with its own agenda, then we find the common, we go against another group whose agendas conflict with ours. Simple stuff, its called life.
The unexplainable knows what makes us or breaks us, we could also figure it out, if we just stop following others and set our own path. Did you know that all the cavemen back then and tribes now, had and have to worry about was/is to eat, shit and sleep? What makes us different than them? What we think we know? Do we all have to do these things? Yes. How easily we accomplish them is what separates the weak from the strong. So what gives?

Warriors and Politicians

2006-01-31T17:23:00.000-05:00

Which is better?
The politician controls the warrior until the warrior no longer wants to be controlled.

Who holds the weapons?
True, a mind is a powerful weapon, but it cannot stop a bullet.

Can words end a conflict?
Sure they can. How long does it take?

Violence generates more violence
Do you rather to shoot or to be shot?

Why are we the most “powerful” nation in the world?
Define powerful.

Send a politician to war.
How long will he survive using his words? Language barrier?

Send a warrior to war.
How long will he survive using his weapon? Can you say, longer?

Can talking bring subsistence to a household?
Yes. When someone is listening.
Can a gun bring it?
Yes. When someone wants to live. When you can catch the food too.

Will we ever live without weapons?
Yes. When all politicians cease to exist.

I will play politics until those are rendered useless, but
I will always be a warrior.

Semper Fidelis
FAST & SSD

Food Glorious Food...

2006-01-31T09:41:00.000-05:00

Armadillo, South of the Border style.

- Trap armadillo with a net between 12 AM and 2AM.

- Get 3 gal of water boiling in big pot.

- Take creature's life away with a single swing of the machete to his head. (Females not eaten)

- While water boils, place uncooked food neck down to drain as much fluid as possible.

- Dip raw food in pot of boiling water. Let it rest for 15 min.

- Take it out of pot and start peeling shell from the abdomen area.

- At this point meat will be only cook on the surface.

- On separate pot start to melt butter with mashed fresh garlic cloves, onions and culantro (Not cilantro) Cut the meat into small cubes and sautee with butter, garlic and cilantro until cooked.( Low heat-No browning)Slowly pour sour-orange juice, potato cubes, tomato paste, salt and pepper as you stir. cover and let simmer for about 15 more minutes.

Enjoy with fried plantains, white rice and highball. Whew! is harder for me to write than to cook. I aim to please.

The texture/flavor results to be like a chicken breast stew, similar to the one Mexicans use on their tacos ( No joke here).

Don't ask me for more recipes where I have to go catch my own food, please.

Car Salesmen - Understanding

2006-01-26T12:05:00.000-05:00

Hidden Truth or the Open Lie
You decide.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4650024.stm

I’ve played the game before. Openly and fearlessly make a statement that cannot be deciphered as whether it is true or false.
Is this one true or false?
“He stressed that this was a commercial venture and not philanthropy.”
Do you ever feel like Bono, as if you are trying to help others but help yourself first?
I do.
This is only a round trip ticket to ILOVEMYSELF land.
I admire the boldness of the statements.
Perhaps U2 can relate.

Tagging Or The Attempt Of

2006-01-24T16:31:00.000-05:00

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1) Restaurant Manager
2) Cigar Connoisseur
3) Marine
4) Computer Guy

Four movies I like

1) Memento
2) Usual Suspects
3) LA Confidential
4) Heat

Four places I have lived:
1) Miami, FL
2) Jacksonville, NC
3) Norfolk, VA
4) Kissimmee, FL

Four TV shows I love to watch (currently on air):
1) American Idol
2) Lost
3) Invasion
4) Top Gear

Four places I have been on vacation:
1) Nicaragua
2) Utah
3) Tennessee
4) West Virginia

Four websites I visit daily:
1) Google
2) Rise and Shine
3) Wunderground
4) News

Four places I would rather be right now:
1) Sosa Cigar Company with my pack
2) Corona Cigar Company with my pack
3) Home, Granada, Nicaragua
4) Treasure Island, FL

Four bloggers that I've learned taggin' from
1) Ben
2) 1 and 2 cerebralgraffitti
3) infinitesimal
4) You may be next

Intellectuality, Academia and Scholars

2006-01-24T12:59:00.000-05:00

All the layers that one chooses to wear, to protect our fragile egos and true nature.
There are other layers that we think are part of us, reality is that we think they are part of us.
We sometimes come out in true form under the influence of chemicals, sometimes under the influence of others but it is always short lived and discarded because it was under the influence.
Let me now add a not-so-new kind of influence.

The Internet

The one that allows us to hide under a thicker layer, in addition to all of the ones we already wear.
I will start with an observation of self, of course bias is inevitable, but nevertheless I will try.

I am uneducated.
I am selfish (self loving)
I think I am pretty smart
I use the I a lot (I try not to)
I spend a lot of time on the Internet
I do not how to speak English too well, therefore can not "write" (it is my second language)
I will let you add on your perceptions to this post with your comments.

Now I will go on my observations of what I see on an almost daily basis on Internet country.

False personalities.
Failed attempts to fit in.
Fears of revealing our true nature.
Shifting ideals and false beliefs being dictated by peer pressures that actually do not exist.
Clicks, Alliances and Guerrillas that mob onto individuals that dare to present them wearing very few layers or none at all.

Allow me stop for now and say this:

There is something to be learned and studied about human behavior here. I have learned so many things since starting to blog; they are all good things because they are a new form of human expression, the most anonymous and manipulative of them all.

As for layers, I am not wearing one when I come here. Intellectuality, Academia and Scholars
will certainly know that, when they see all the mistakes I make when trying to convey my thoughts to the written word. I choose not to wear layers here, and here only, because in the reality of the Internet nation it is ok to be out in the rain and get wet. I have been caught in many storms out here in the physical world, the layers always fall as I run looking for shelter and even though getting wet is sometimes extremely unpleasant, I can deal with it.

I just wrote what went through my mind while I was reading blogs.

Roaches

2006-01-18T17:25:00.000-05:00

Will all the energy of my life and everyone else's life get dumped into the universe?
Is there a way to recycle it? Does someone hold this info? Share if you dare.

The mind, the untouchable and free mind, will mine be on a bird on will it crawl in the ground?
Should I prepare for more or for less? Should I not prepare at all? When he comes and does his thing, where would we be? How many times do we come back? Are we allowed?

I am not trying to be Malkovich, but I am interested on these mysteries which have been revealed. If I had to push the Walmart cart with the bags and dreadlocks hanging as the price to pay for knowing, truly knowing, I would not think twice. Does anyone belong to the club?
I have life in me as I write this, so I will dare to ask and prepare to receive the answer and still manage to be happy with not knowing.

Loved Ones

2006-01-12T08:44:00.000-05:00

Sadness, wishful thinking and more sadness creeps into my mind and my heart slows down its beat because I am once again thinking about loved ones.
There are "cared for ones" that inhabit my mind from time to time but the heart is unaffected; but the loved ones, the ones that are part of our chemical makeup and whose connection to us is not only physical but sometimes unexplained by science; those are the ones that can make us question our own life's purpose.

My love is travelling trhough time and space now, trying to reach the destination of those loved ones thousands of miles away. Sometimes is not the distance, sometimes is the state of mind.
Love was yesterday, it is today and it will be there tomorrow, reach out and grab it, enjoy it and then pass it on. I will try for as long as there is life in me.

I love you EQ, HQ and DQ.

Are we cats?

2006-01-06T15:30:00.000-05:00

Reason I ask is because only cats are said to have nine lives.
But we are not cats; we only have one chance to live. Think about that for a minute, or a day if necessary.
Whatever we do on this life will be the only chance we have of doing it.
Does it matter if is “perceived” as good or bad?
Allow me to elaborate, this is not representative of my life or anyone else but it may land somewhere in between.

I was born in poverty, so I’ll work hard and change the way of life of my child/younghood years; after all, I am a bad person because I will take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way. Great.

I was born in wealth, so I want to experience a bit of hardship and see how it “feels” to be poor, besides, I am a good person for wanting to do this.

Then, life happens, and on your deathbed or jail cell you await the moment of absolute and indisputable truth. We are all going to die. Some sooner than others.

Now let me talk about life.

A few years back, I thought. Is it possible live my life the way I want and to always love myself first and then others? Yes, I answered to myself, I am selfish. So then I decided to be that, SELFLOVING. How can we love others before us? We must love ourselves first in order to know what love is. There is a little problem though, I love myself too much. Is not my problem; It is the problem of those that do not know how to love themselves and are worried about other people's lives and not their own. I’ll do my part now to teach my descendants about loving themselves first and then others and it is ok to lie and say the opposite with means to an end.

Back to the grind now.

So; do we need to live the life of sacrifice and finite pursue of what we do not possess?
Rich to Poor
Fat to Thin
Old to Young
Ignorant to Genius
Good to Bad
Reverse the cycle
Then what? Life just went by and we were too worried about the perceptions of our world and not for a moment we stopped to think and erased the list and stop the cycle.

I’ll close by saying that some of us have figured it out. I figured it out at 25.
The real estate guru figured out at 47.
The self-made millionaire still has not figured out.
When will you? Will it be the day of truth? It may be too late then.

Disagreements

2006-01-06T09:36:00.000-05:00

"I agree to disagree". Who came up with that? Disagreeing is fine,
it is everyone's right and duty sometimes, especially here in America.
It is amusing how we get impregnated with many bad and good habits because the enviroment that surrounds us. I think that it is essential to set your own standards, beliefs and ideas without giving into peer pressure or offsetting the status quo.

Understand also that as humans, we are social creatures and there is a balance between our interests and the interests of others, is that what "I agree to disagree" means? I don't think so.
To me, it means that you have given up and just found a cliche that solves all issues. Imagine for a moment, that governments were ran that way. Now tell me how that fits into the context of individualism or collaboration, it's neither.

I will conclude this thought with an off-topic observation.

I need to take writing courses.

Friend Ship

2005-12-28T13:26:00.000-05:00

The ship that always sets sail. How do we keep in touch with those whose company makes us feel good?

I have come to the conclusion that for my age group is the good 'ol phone.

Below is a breakdown of ages and methods that could be interpreted as a generalization.

Ages_________ Method

- 1 to 30 =

Internet Communications ie; email, chat, etc.
Cell Phone, txtMsg

- 31 to 45 =

1. Cell, Home and txtMsg are catching up.

2. Internet...

- 45 to UP =

1. Snail Mail

2. Home Phone

3. Funeral

So after that impressive (rolleyes) analysis I am still left behind thinking, if one has friends on all those age groups, how do we all keep in touch in a consistent manner? Or am I worrying too much about these simple things? Perhaps, one day I will invent a "thing" that anyone, I mean anyone can use, and not feel intimidated, stupid or lazy about using to communicate.

In the meantime, my thoughts go out into the universe and meet with the thoughts of those loved ones.

De Get To Gether

2005-11-26T12:38:00.000-05:00

Well thanks to aeitingon for hosting the GTG. It was a great gathering (two members including me) We shared some insight on the A3s Sport VS Premium, VAG mods among other topics. Got mine VAGged for windows roll down, sweet and thanks to aeitingon. Now here are some GTG pics