Numb, Slow or Frozen
Am I?, sometimes. Just got a dozen phone calls. Someone close suddenly passed.
No tears (yet). I say, "She is finally free from pain, peace has come to pick her up and taken her for a trip to eternity."
Is what I told some of the mourners, perhaps I am one of them, but we do not share the same emotions. Hours went by while my mind went out to meet her and tell her that I loved her and that I wish that I had seen her one more time before her departure.
Came back from the mind trip, mourning was still present and the pain and sorrow that was present in the air, finally made me take the trip with the others, once I embraced it and gave into it, it only lasted a few minutes. Went back to my normal state of mind which is normally peace.
Now I wonder. Who is next? When will my turn be?
I hope that it is understood that it may seem numb at times, but sometimes the path to tribulation is one that chooses us and that may appear numb to some.
She rests in peace now, and so do I. For now.
No tears (yet). I say, "She is finally free from pain, peace has come to pick her up and taken her for a trip to eternity."
Is what I told some of the mourners, perhaps I am one of them, but we do not share the same emotions. Hours went by while my mind went out to meet her and tell her that I loved her and that I wish that I had seen her one more time before her departure.
Came back from the mind trip, mourning was still present and the pain and sorrow that was present in the air, finally made me take the trip with the others, once I embraced it and gave into it, it only lasted a few minutes. Went back to my normal state of mind which is normally peace.
Now I wonder. Who is next? When will my turn be?
I hope that it is understood that it may seem numb at times, but sometimes the path to tribulation is one that chooses us and that may appear numb to some.
She rests in peace now, and so do I. For now.
posted by Mr Q at 2:01 PM
7 Comments:
thank you for this post. loved it.
Losing my dad last year after so many years of being his carer I understand your confusion and questioning at this time.
You are showing a great amount of the 'getting of wisdom'.
Please accept my condolences at this time.
nursing the dying and experiencing personal loss of my own has me that death is always a stunning shock that strips us bare of feeling, no matter how intellectually expected it may be. i am sorry for your loss. hang onto the happy memories you have of this loved one, and know i am thinking of you, dear Q.
hang in there,
=^)
malva
Hey just recently lost both grandparents on Dad's side.
You just miss the person here and ther I have found.
Sorry for the sadness.
love,
me
Thank you all for your sincere and kind words. I am gladly surprised of your unexpected care and humanism.
Hello Q
My mother passed away in 85. My best friend in 96.
I sometimes think that I should go see my Dad more often. Or my sister. My friends. And I do not.
It is like it is. -- She can move freely now. She can dance again.
Be sad for her going. Rejoice in knowing her and caring so much to mourn. According to The Messiah's Handbook, you will know when your life's mission is done. If you are still alive, it is not. Her mission is done, and it is time for her to move on to the next one.
I echo aka fatty. There is choice and there are consequences. We all choose.
Our sincere condolences.
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